Learn Before You Burn

Divorces are like snowflakes, no two are alike. Because of the unique and multi-faceted nature of divorce, it’s difficult to get the whole story. Attorneys focus on legalities and often miss underlying motivations and hidden possibilities. Psychologists typically don’t have the expertise to navigate through the complex financial regulations that are a big part of the divorce process. Family and friends lack the knowledge and objectivity to steer divorcing people in the right direction. And, wading through the information, and misinformation, on the internet can become a full-time job.

Ultimately, no one expert may be able to guide you through all the twists and turns. In fact, you may fare best if you are able to put together an interdisciplinary team of advisors that you can call on with different questions. According to Gary Schreiner, JD, who has worked as an attorney, parenting coordinator, case assessor, court mediator and divorce coach in Ammon, Idaho:

A civil war, between the old guard (proponents of the traditional adversarial system) and the new divorce visionaries, is currently raging. And, divorce’s changing landscape has brought more options. So before you hire an attorney or engage in scorched earth litigation, find out what options are available in your area. Mediation, collaborative law, family dispute resolution centers, unbundled legal services, parenting coordination, self-representation workshops and more are spreading every day.

Gary believes that “knowing your options can mean the difference between needing a bandage or a surgeon to heal your divorce wound.”