Sometimes when people learn about our work at A Friendly Divorce they chuckle and say “A Friendly Divorce – that’s an oxymoron.” Others wince and ask “where were you ten years ago, when I needed you?”
OUR PHILOSOPHY: The majority of our clients don’t start out friendly. But, for most couples, a friendly (or at least a friendlier) divorce is possible. As we see it, when a couple has children, divorce is a process of family restructuring: the marriage ends, but husband and wife remain Mom and Dad. It is their task to transition from living in one house to two and eventually become Grandma and Grandpa to the same babies. When a couple has no children they still need to divide their property and finances; make shifts in their physical, social, logistical, and psychological lives; prepare the necessary court paperwork; and move as gracefully as possible into the next phase of their lives.
This philosophy is in contrast to that of the traditional/attorney-driven divorce that deals with divorce like a legal problem and can result in kids who feel like they are entangled in a war zone, diversion of financial resources to attorneys and others, and mushrooming conflict and contempt that keeps former spouses stuck for years to come.
OUR PURPOSE: At A Friendly Divorce our goal is to encourage positive functioning so that you can move into the next phase of your life. We can help you move in a positive direction by side-stepping the negative nature of an attorney-driven divorce and guiding you towards agreement, an uncontested divorce, and a friendlier future.
A traditional/attorney-driven divorce is right for some families. This is the way to go when one spouse needs legal protection. For example, if one spouse is unaware of what the marital assets are or how much the other spouse earns, s/he may want a divorce attorney to investigate all of these details before agreeing to any financial arrangements. Additionally, if one spouse feels intimidated as the result of domestic violence or coercion, negotiating without a divorce lawyer is a bad idea.
However, many of the couples who end up in a traditional/attorney-driven divorce wouldn’t be there if they knew that another option existed. Our mission is to let it be known that there is a better way and that a family doesn’t need to spend its financial wealth on two attorneys whose focus is arguing over dividing whatever is left. We understand that most logical human beings would never choose that path. And, we also know how easy it is, when people are emotionally vulnerable and feeling betrayed, rejected, and frightened, to fall prey to the atrocities of adversarial divorce.
OUR PROCESS: Our unique divorce mediation process provides a forum for communication and problem solving. Typically, the process takes between two and seven hours, depending on the issues and the personalities involved. Many divorces are mediated in a single two or three-hour session. Sometimes the process occurs over time, in two or more face-to-face sessions, which are combined with individual telephone or email consultation.
Mediation becomes a time for negotiation and opening up the channels of communication. Following each mediation session you will receive a draft of your customized Marital Settlement Agreement. This agreement will cover future parenting plans and how finances (and child support) will be handled during and after the divorce. Once the Marital Settlement Agreement is complete you will come back to our office to read and sign it. We can then fill-in the state approved forms necessary for filing an uncontested divorce. Or you can get the forms from the court and fill them in on your own.
If you need a QDRO (to divide a pension), a deed, or a revision to your estate plan we can refer you to legal resources. Ultimately, the agreement and forms are filed with the Clerk of the Court and your case can be set for a final hearing as an uncontested dissolution of marriage.
We have offices in Boca Raton and Gainesville, Florida and serve couples throughout Florida. We can help you if you will be filing for divorce in Miami-Dade, Broward, Palm Beach, Martin, Alachua, or Marion County.
